Stroll with us through a traditional English village fête--lucky dips, cheese-rolling and prize vegetables, maypoles and bunting, Green Men, guess-the-weight-of-the-cake and, of course, the church roof fund. From the opening of the fête by the vicar, to the squire's evening sherry party, you'll find an idyllic English summer's day here (if not outside, where there will doubtless be a hailstorm).

As at all New Sheridan Club parties there will be performers, games and silly things to do. This time we will be entertained by:

● The seemly yet foot-stomping sounds of Mr B. the Gentleman Rhymer, the banjolele-toting lost link between Noel Coward and Chuck D.
● A live demonstration of the Victorian walking-stick martial art of Bartitsu
● A live 1930s-style broadcast by the Fitzrovia Radio Hour, complete with stiff upper lips, cut-glass accents and inventively produced sound effects.

There will be competitions for precision cheese-rolling, turnip jousting and guessing the weight of a cake. There will be a tombola with suitably lame prizes and a prize for the most impressive vegetable brought along by a guest. And maybe something to do with identifying silhouettes of cows.

The bathrooms will be stocked once more with fine soaps, colognes, pomades and moustache waxes, kindly supplied by Geo. F. Trumper.

There will also be our customary free Snuff Bar, with two dozen varieties of snuff to try.

Ms Sophie Jonas will be running a stall selling home-made sweets.

And of course there will be the Grand Raffle, entry to which is free but to Members only--including anyone who joins on the night. The list of prizes is long and quirky but includes a boater from Lock's of St James's, the world's finest hatter, £100 of vouchers from Old Town, purveyor of exquisite nostalgic clothing, a Fairtrade genuine Panama hat from Patchacuti, a bottle of Bulldog gin, some traditional pub games such as cribbage, shove ha'penny and backgammon, a jam-making kit, a "Top Trumps: Tractors and Farm Machinery" game, a set of handsome NSC cufflinks and a vast array of books, DVDs and CDs...

The venue is very central, just a few minutes walk from Bank underground station. Smokers will be pleased to hear it has an outside decked area, which is also sheltered by awnings in the event of the inevitable downpour. The inside has the feel of a 1920s country manor. We shall be decking the halls with flowers and bunting and hope to install a maypole too.

There will be a menu of hearty traditional dishes with which to line your stomach before hitting the cider and mead.

The price of admission for all this? Members of the New Sheridan Club pay nothing at all, while non-Members are charged paltry £5--which will be offset against the cost of Membership if you join on the night. (Membership is just £15 a year if you live in London, less if you live further afield.)

Dress: Vicars, yokels, squires, poachers, village idiots, milkmaids, scarecrows, suits of armour, downed Luftwaffe pilots in disguise, Green Men, morris men, disturbing pagan traditions, boaters, blazers or just black tie.